For several years, I’ve been watching my married friends getting divorced more and more frequently. And they have some strange, not very objective reasons. This year, it came to the point that 98% of all my friends got divorced. It’s like couples are simply collapsing altogether. It has epidemic proportions.
How can this be explained?
- The marriage ritual itself is a magic one, as we remember. It’s all weird and magical, even sacred in many ways. It’s a start of the bond that will last forever!
And once the systemic magic is involved, then it’s not magical anymore. Let’s take the last 70 years. It was more difficult to get a divorce because you cannot break up – neighbors will frown upon you, parents won’t be happy, and all that stuff. But today, it’s really simple, so there’s no need to hold on to a sinking ship.
Well, there is this program called you-need-to-get-married-right-now. Because of it, some couples get married in their 20’s just to realize five years later that their views are completely incompatible.
- Incompatibility: fundamentally, these people got no time to know each other; they are only 20; they had little to no time to date and to get to know each other; they are pushed by their parents to get married as soon as possible because it’s a must. Then they find out for themselves that their partners aren’t as good as they thought at first, and their relationship begins to get boring and all that. At this age, people need to have fun – it’s in their nature. They want fun, and they need to receive and create it, but what’s fun about marriage, boredom, changing diapers, and sharing your salary with someone?
Also, the Internet is important here: the oversaturated information environment and the ability to go to meet someone else is always available. Yet there are those sites that should be trusted where you can find a partner without a problem, like this site for European dating. Be sure to check it out.
- Being young, as we’ve just said, doesn’t help to build a strong relationship. We want to elaborate further on this. It is sad and somewhat comical at the same time how many young couples are getting divorced. It is everywhere. The internet allowed them to find out about love, find someone outside of their immediate group of relatives and friends. And thus, with this, they get culture shock of sorts; they feel the necessity to love; they feel that it is necessary to find a partner, love him/her, and have sex. And parents encourage such behavior. It goes both ways really, and both are really counterproductive. Either parents push their child to marry or the child finds a partner, and it’s great and all, yet they are both 14-16 years old. What kind of a relationship could be there at this point? How many loving and strong marriages do you know that kept strong and solid, and in which they met each other during teenage years and managed to stay together as adults? There are none. However, the statistics of staying together for couples that found each other at https://www.zoosk.com/ are great. Be sure to check it out and meet someone. No matter how old are you, Zoosk will surely help you find whoever you need.
Once you find out that you’ve made a mistake of being too quick and aggressive with your proposal – it’s too late. You’re already married. And you don’t really like him/her; they became stale, boring, or, which is worse, too aggressive, jealous, controlling, giving you nothing but headaches.
Let’s take a look at some statistics, to conclude this article. Since you may be thinking “meh, it’s probably not a big deal. I doubt that the numbers have changed.” So, let’s take a look at Germany:
If in 1950, 1,222,971 marriages were concluded (12 marriages per 1000 population). 60 years later this number was 1,215,066 marriages (8.5 per 1000 population). In absolute terms, the difference seems to be small; a decrease in the interest of Germans in marriage can be seen only in terms of the coefficient. 1,222,971 and 1,215,066 don’t look that far away from each other until you consider that the latter number is not affected by the growth of population, hence the difference between 12 and 8,5.