Divorces between couples occur because of a wide variety of reasons that vary from one relationship to another. Social scientists conducted several kinds of research to discover what causes separation. There is no doubt that the success of a relationship always depends on mutual understanding, respect, and trust. However, regular communication is the key to maintaining a successful relationship. As soon as a communication gap between couples or couples begins, things begin to take a severe turn.
- Verbal abuse: Verbal aggression is a destructive phenomenon in a relationship. It is a way of demeaning the spouse at the receiving end, as well as showing disrespect for them. This occurs when a spouse calls their partner cruel names, repeatedly shouts at them, dismisses the feelings of their spouses and constantly criticises their partner. Verbal abuse, like any abuse, can erode the confidence and feelings of self-worth of abused spouses if left unchecked. These feelings can be internalised. Verbal abusive behaviour is one of the leading traits that will likely lead to divorce. One reason for divorce is a spouse who cannot control abusive behaviour, which could be a sign that the abusive spouse suffers from some emotional disorder that requires professional help.
- Lack of marital communication skills: Not having the communication skills necessary for a happy marriage is considered one trait that could likely lead to a divorce. Disagreements are frequent in relationships. Resolving marital conflicts requires excellent marital communication skills. Two essential marital communication skills are speaking and listening. Talking with your spouse effectively requires an understanding that words have meaning. The words used and how you say them will have a significant impact on how your spouse receives them. Learning the correct listening skills is necessary to listen to what your spouse is telling you and to convey to your spouse that you are listening. This includes verbal and nonverbal skills.
- Unrealistic expectations: Unrealistic expectations from one of the spouses can damage a marriage when expectations are not reasonable. Expectations can include an unrealistic view of what marriage is supposed to be without taking into account what really happens in most people’s lives. When a partner doesn’t realise that a marriage must have difficulties, the feeling of tasting reality where things can’t always be the way they expected it to be is a part of 11 traits that will likely lead to divorce, that should be avoided. Unrealistic expectations may involve work, sex, money or several other issues.
- Seeing divorce as the solution to everything: Many states have a no-fault divorce provision that facilitates the separation of couples. In today’s society, many people view divorce as a way to solve marriage problems and are more likely to request a divorce at the first sign of stress. Unfortunately, the consequences of divorce can have severe emotional and financial effects on families where the divorce was the first option. A trait that will likely lead to divorce is believing that you, as a spouse, can always move out as soon as things get a bit tough.
- Allowing external influences: When a spouse carelessly allows an undue influence on their marriage, it can cause serious marital problems. The causes of divorce are usually the interference of parents, family, and friends. Allowing others to have a negative impact on marriages is responsible for many marital conflicts. Family or friends can cause excessive problems between couples. Often, intrusion takes the form of meddling in the privacy of a couple, monopolising vacations and weekends, starting disagreements and conflicts, continually visiting unannounced and unnecessary criticism of a spouse and other controlling behaviours.
- Feeling of neglect: Working long hours can put a lot of stress on the marriage and can cause one or both spouses feeling neglected If both spouses are working, there may be little time available to spend together, and it may require some creativity out of the box. Seizing opportunities to spend time together doesn’t have to be complicated. Simple things like working at home together, running errands, taking quick walks and talking are some activities which can be used to deal with long hours of work and little time. If one spouse works outside the home and the other stays at home, special attention should be given to supporting the feelings and stress of the other. Feelings of loneliness can develop during the stay at home, which should be taken seriously.
- Depression: According to studies, depression is considered one of the most critical traits that lead to divorce. Things take a toll on the relationship even before getting to the root of the problem. Many couples separate after their marriage because they suffer from depression. A depressive mood works wonders to make things worse and exacerbate issues even more. When one spouse or both suffers from depression, they can also seek to enter an adventure outside of marriage. And once it happens, there is probably no chance of returning. Therefore, it is crucial to detect the symptoms of depression in time to reduce the chances of divorce. It will be challenging for a depressed couple to connect or even communicate with their partner. Once you know that depression is affecting the relationship and that the situation is almost out of control, it is always recommended to seek professional help.
- Lack of sexual satisfaction: One of the most common causes of divorce cases between couples is because of sexual problems in a relationship. It is not about the number of times you have sex with your partner, but about sexual satisfaction. There are also couples who could be together without having sex for a month or a year for various reasons.
- Inability to manage money issues properly. Experts, however, say that it is not money directly that causes couples to divorce. In fact, it is the way you handle money. Because of poor money management, couples may face relationship conflicts that may further aggravate the matter. If one of the pairs is very wasteful while the other is a great saver, it can lead to severe problems in a relationship.
- Infidelity: Infidelity and problems such as suspicions between spouses that accompany it tends to be among the traits leading to divorce. As mentioned earlier, an unhappy relationship is one in which the partners are very dissatisfied. This dissatisfaction is what leads to infidelity. Problems such as jealousy and resentment that come with cheating are among the common causes of divorce. To prevent infidelity, a partner can make sure that their spouse’s needs, physical and psychological, are well met. This sounds straightforward, but the lack of satisfaction, which leads to infidelity arises because of unmet physical needs or unmet psychological needs. That is the root cause. The “psychological needs” that we are talking about here are simple things like attention where spouses need to feel that they are being given attention.
- Being too secretive. It may seem minor, but this is also one of the common causes of divorce. When it gets to a point where couples in a marriage have stopped sharing their fears and hopes, we know we have an unhappy marriage, even if the couple is still having little conversations with each other. Most times, the couple’s secrecy is induced by the loss of confidence or the feeling that the other couple simply doesn’t care.
With the current divorce rates at such high levels, there are many traits that will likely lead to divorce. When most people get married, they expect their marriage to last a lifetime and do not anticipate divorcing. Learning the reasons for divorce and what to do with them can help save a marriage.